A day in the gas station life!

So this is where my work day begins. As you can see the large stack of mailbox's are just that, large! Better yet they were not tall enough so they recently decided to raise them on a platform about a foot and a half. They may have been thinking of me when they did this because I'm almost 6'3" and my box is on the far right third from the bottom. Well actually it didn't really help much at all but it is rather funny to watch our one manager who's is hardly 5' tall try and get his mail one spot from the top. LOL That big white box on the ground in front of the mailbox stack is actually a step stool!!!






You may have also noticed the stapler in my box. I also added a picture of it up close to show you my anti theft idea. I labeled it, Don't be a Donkey and this is not your stapler!!!! These things tend to disappear in the office. I figured if anything a would be stapler thief would leave my stapler alone not wanting to be a donkey or at least feeling sorry for me having to go to such drastic measures to preserve the right to my stapler. <----I think that was a huge run on sentence...









My next stop after my comp shop(getting other gas stations prices)I head to my little strip of square footage in the parking lot. Better known as the Data Hut. In this little 4'x5' section of Costco property I am the King! All the electronic and sensing equipment are kept in this small castle of mine. It has an A/C to keep everything cool but in the winter it can get do freaking cold outside that it's warmer in the Data Hut. Small price to pay 3 months out of the year to be able to write my own schedule and stay invisible to the OTHERS. I have everything I need to survive in here for a month. There is even an underground passage that leads to the local singletrack. I can tell you this because without the secret knock and the proper DNA sample, you can't access this secret door.



Ok, here is an issue with the gas station. Both of these displays are from Toyota Tacomas. Each guy was pissed when he left and they both seamed to blame me. Now I'm clocked in so I have to kinda bite my toung. I told the guy on the left, "Dude, gas has been expenive for years and we all knew it was going to just get worse. You have paper plates on this truck so you must have just bought it, dugh" The guy on the right, I just looked at nad shook my head because he was talking a mile a second in spanish waving his receipt in my face. I wish I spoke spanish in situations like this so I could tell him, dude, are there seatbelts for all 5 of those people you have cramed in the cab of your truck?




I gave this lady a high five and pumped her gas!!















Now this little fucker made me scream like a little bitch! I'm sweeping along still half asleep and, AHHHH! Look at the size of that freaking spider!!! Note: I swear for a milla second it was alive and lunged at me. I even poked it with a stick to make sure it was dead, I mean fake. I then placed it in a dispenser that was low on paper and watched as another employee opened the door later. He jumped but was rahter silent, I'm such a bitch! HA HA



Yes, even with visual aides, 15 people tried to use these dispensers today. WTF! I mean really, come on people, how freaking hard is it to understand. No, this does not mean that all the rear pumps in the station are not working, no this does not mean you have to back in to use this island and no, this does not mean if you get out of your car and walk over to me and ask what time they will be open they will magically fix them selves because you are in a hurry!!!!! The best one of all is this guy who repeatedly swiped his card in the reader trying to get it to work. He got super pissed when I let him do this for about 8 Min's and two other people drove around him to the forward pumps. Hell, there wasn't even power turned on to this dispenser!!!






And even still, a few of you may think I do nothing all day. Just take a good look at this picture. Notice how I am guarding the broken dispenser from stupid members. I had to put my self in the line of fire to protect these orange cones from being flattened by soccer moms and old people who shouldn't be driving.




I'm like one of those British guards looking straight ahead while at the same time protecting members from them selves. It's not everybody who can wear a reflective yellow vest with such skill and coolness!!! Not many people know this but the side burns actually help to keep my balance on an 8 hour shift.





Ready!!! ACTION! This is the hardest thing I have to do all day. The cheep fuckers who complain about the price of gas the most are almost always the ones to overfill and spill it on the ground! Quickly with the speed of a three legged cat in a pack of wolves I jump into action. I grab my pink super juice and a scrubber wand and head into action! Many people think the super juice is for their windows. I have written in LARGE black letters, NOT FOR WINDOWS all over this container. So when I see them spray it on their windshields I don't tell them anything. Soon enough they ask for a paper towel. You know, I never seam to have one around at that very moment... How strange is that?

I have been driving no faster than 70mph to save money due to the cost of gas. On my way home everyday I count how many people fly by me shredding dollar bills out of there tailpipes. Today 24 people went by me doing at least 90mph. I look at this as complete waste of fuel and money, not to mention dangerous. Those of you who really know Me are yelling hypocrite! In my younger days I had a few cars that went well over 130mph, and often too. But I'm OLDER now and just a little smarter. And at the tune of $65.00 per tank 4 times a month it stays on 70mph.

The one who gets the Mr. Fast pant award today is this guy with a load of mattresses in the back. He was going at least 80mph and the wind hitting the front of those mattresses was making the front of his truck want to jump off the ground. What a freaking JACKASS!!!!!