Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Snooze buttons, flat tires and running over a Ho!


So alarm went off and I hit the snooze button. It went off again and I hit the button again. Finally I opened my eyes with only 20 minutes to make my lunch, iron my shirt and head for the door. To my surprise I jumped into the Super Honda right on time like I didn't even over slept. As I rolled out of the driveway I noticed a kinda dragging sound coming from the front of the car. I thought at first it was the brakes but I hadn't even touched them yet. I got out and ventured to the front of my trusty auto to only find a flat tire. Here I was in the dimly lit streets of my neighborhood at 4:22am with a flat tire. I hit it in super speed cause I haven't been late to work in like 4 years or so and I wasn't going to start now.

When I retrieved my spare tire I noticed something was missing, my tools. WTF!!!! This car is only a year and a half old and there are nor freaking spare tire tools. FLASH, I run into the house to get Leslie's keys. She has recently gotten a Honda too and I knew the tools would be the same. I also grabbed a garden Ho from the garage to chock the rear tire. So I jammed the Ho under the rear tire and started to jack up the S.H. PHUK!!!! I parked kinda close to the curb so instead of spinning the tools freely and raising the S.H. I had to remove the tools every half turn and reset them to jack up the car.

When everything was back together again I ran Lesli's car keys back into the house, shut the garage door and fired it up! Off to work I was. Now I had never driven with a spare tire before and let me tell you, it sucks ass. It's loud, squirmy and just embarrassing to drive. I clocked in 9 min's late and the thought of retiring with a perfect attendance record was gone.

Later I realized that I hadn't put my Ho away. I called Leslie to have her remove it from the street so she wouldn't run it over when she left for work. Well I guess I beat her to it cause when I got home the Ho was dead! I had flattened that sucker when I drove off!

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